Letter#3 — How to Make Aligned Decisions (Without Getting Lost in Doubt)

Making a decision may seem trivial, but it’s actually one of the most complex mental actions we perform… and we do it dozens of times a day.

Most of the time it’s automatic. But sometimes, a single decision can linger in our mind for days. Why?

Because our choices don’t depend only on logic. They’re shaped by emotions, values, habits, the amount of information we have, social pressure, and the fear of consequences.

It’s perfectly normal to hesitate when:

• we don’t have all the information,

• several options seem equally valid,

• strong emotions (guilt, fear of disappointing someone, anxiety, insecurity) cloud our judgment,

• or when a social or professional environment pushes us to “decide fast.”

Some marketing or social strategies even exploit these situations: information overload, artificial urgency, flattery… All these mechanisms reduce your time to think, pushing you toward quick decisions, often to escape discomfort.

A healthy first step is simply to pause and step back.

This is exactly what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps with: reconnecting with the present moment so you can make decisions that are clear, intentional, and aligned with your values.

What you’ll find in this capsule are tools to explore decision-making difficulties (including choosing between procrastinating and starting a task, see previous capsule). These exercises can be a strong start, but they become even more effective when explored with a mental health professional who can help you adapt them at your own pace.

Here are concrete methods to turn reflection into action:

a. Weighted pros & cons

List advantages and disadvantages, and highlight those tied to your values.

Example:

• “This project reduces my freedom → -2 (important value)”

• “But it increases my financial security → +1”

Add practical elements like cost, time, effort, emotional load.

b. Future projection

Imagine yourself in a week, a month, or a year:

• “Am I at peace with this choice?”

• “Does this future version of me feel authentic?”

This clarifies long-term alignment instead of short-term relief.

c. The coin flip method

Not to let chance decide, but to reveal your inner preference.

Flip a coin (Heads = A, Tails = B).
If the result disappoints you, choose the opposite.
Your emotional reaction shows your true preference.

d. External consultation

Talk with someone you trust, a friend, mentor, therapist.
They can help you see when a decision is influenced by pressure rather than values.

e. Decision deadlines

Set a specific time or date to decide.
This prevents paralysis, though it requires courage.
Useful for low-risk choices or when overthinking takes over.

When you feel stuck:

1. Return to the present

• Breathe deeply

• Change posture or location

• Feel where tension or stress sits in your body

2. Identify causes & accept discomfort

• Is your hesitation based on values? Fear? Pressure? Lack of information?

• Let emotions be there without trying to silence them

3. Choose according to your values

• Pick the option that best reflects what matters most right now

• Let discomfort exist, it’s part of aligned action

The goal isn’t the perfect choice, it’s a conscious, authentic one.

Every value-based decision is an act of clarity and courage.

Quick 2-Minute Exercise

Think of a decision you’ve been hesitating about.

Which value would be honored by choosing one of the options?

Write it down, no need for perfection.

Repeating this exercise strengthens your inner clarity and confidence.

Bonus:

Clarifying your values also reduces procrastination, by reinforcing intrinsic motivation, the topic of the next capsule.